Wedding Planning Step by Step

By Avis Shiveler Brangan

Choosing Your Attendants

First, sit down with your fiance’ (or fiancee’) and decide how large a bridal party you want, whom you want (or don’t want), if you want to include any children, and whether you want to have an equal number of ladies and gentlemen (it is not necessary).

What makes a great attendant?

Supportive, low-maintenance friends, co-workers, and family members make the best wedding party members. Try to avoid people who are self-centered, selfish, forgetful or have other obligations.

Do I have to include family members from both the Bride’s side and the Groom’s side?

Never feel obligated to have someone in your wedding party just because you were told you “have to” or it is “the right thing to do.” The selection of female and male attendants should be a decision made by the Bride and Groom only.

When considering a Maid or Matron of Honor . . or a Best Man, ask yourself how this friend or relative reacted in the past when you have sought their help or assistance. The key word here is RESPONSIBLE . . was she or he responsible and eager to be of service to a friend in need? Were they selfish or resentful? Are they well intentioned but scatterbrained or forgetful? Will they be there when you need them the most . . or will they be chasing their children or sitting on a bar stool in another room?

When you ask someone be an attendant, let them know what you want them to do . . and how much money it may entail.

(a) Have each attendant be assigned a specific task or job, and put that job in writing for them. If they live a long distance away, ask that person what they are capable of doing or what they would like to do.

(b) Be financially realistic and straightforward. If you have a clear cut idea of what you want your attendants to look like (the wedding attire), tell them before you walk into any bridal shop or men’s formal wear store so they can be both financially and mentally prepared.
If you are having difficulty selecting five attendants from twenty of your “best friends” throughout your lifetime, here’s an easy solution . . choose one from each stage of your life, for example, one from grammar school, one from high school, etc.

One final thought . . selecting only “the beautiful people” in your life as your attendants is both unfair and unkind. Your wedding party should not look a collection of professional models in a New York fashion show.


About the Author

Avis Shiveler Brangan
Certified Wedding Specialist
Professional Bridal Consultant
Nondenominational Minister
www.top-hat-productions.com
York, PA

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